What If? About feelings
What if we embraced and accepted ALL our feelings?
What if we stopped judging ourselves for having our various feelings?
What if we learned to be present with our feelings? NOT act on them. Simply BE. Simply allow. Simply not fight them. (How much energy do we use up in arguing with our feelings?!? Is it a wise use of our precious life energy?)
Some of us are so afraid of our feelings. Why?
Maybe someone’s feelings caused them to take actions that hurt you. Maybe your feelings caused you to do or say things that hurt you or others. So you have concluded that feelings are the problem.
I propose to you that feelings are NOT the problem. It is our actions that create pain and suffering. Feelings are an internal state. Feelings are information for us. Feelings can be the past returning. Feelings can be reminders of past pain or unresolved issues. Or feelings can just show up, for no particular reason! Especially for us emotionally wired folks. I think folks who are more empathic can pick up and be feeling other people’s feelings.
Our feelings are real and matter. They are a part of us. Our feelings need to be a PART of how we make decisions, but our feelings should not be the only reason we do what we do in life.
Feelings can change. They often do. They usually do. From day to day they will shift. This is why our feelings cannot be our only compass. If all you do is follow your feelings you will be here, there and everywhere! That is a lot of chaos.
Most of us do best to check in with our feelings on a very regular basis, like a few times a day. If we are working on making a decision we should check our feelings and energy around that decision many times, over time. Most of us benefit from taking “polls” of our feelings and going with the majority answer over time. Most of us don’t do well with a quick, pressured answer.
Even if we might like to change how we are feeling, the first step of any change process is to acknowledge where you are now. Sometimes accepting where you are makes change happen.
Last week I had a chance to practice accepting my feelings. I was upset, angry, disappointed at myself for how I was doing with my diet/eating. I was feeling oh so many feelings. I often keep it to myself, and just suffer. But instead, I reached out to a rex rabbit chat group I am on. Confessed my food struggles. Got support. Was still upset. Went home and ended up breaking down crying to the boyfriend (who has never had a food or weight issue a day in his life!) I spoke all my feelings, got them out. While I did not expect him to be supportive, he was. And kind. It helped settle me.
Acknowledging where I was at that time helped me shift some energy. Acknowledging how very hard this can be for me and how stuck and hopeless I feel at times helped me release some of that stuck energy.
The next day I was able to sit down and write a new food plan. Which I had been needing to do for a while.
Make friends with your feelings. Practice flowing with them, not fighting them. I had been fighting my feelings about food all last week. Did me no good. Good only came when I truly allowed them. Then things shifted in me emotionally and energetically. Only then could I make a practical behavior change.
And this week I feel differently about me and food. I have some more peace. A good start.